Definition: noun. Fearful anxiety
I have strong mixed feelings about returning to work.
I hate the idea of putting Princess Crybaby in daycare during the most important time of her development. I know this is what has to happen but I don’t like it.
At the same time, I want to get back so I can see what is waiting for me – good or bad.
Not standing on solid ground at work is maddening. I am tired of always feeling like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff.
I fail to grasp the reason I should constantly question my value to the team or whether I’m even part of the team anymore. It’s tiresome.
During the time of instability, at least I knew where I stood. Knew I was needed. Hey, they came to me. Now, I’m not so sure.
I am not afraid of change and know I bring a lot to the table. The question is, will I have an invite to the table when I get back?
Then there is the matter of wanting to be at home full-time but not knowing if that will ever be possible. I can make the math work in theory but we all know reality is rarely as tidy as theory.