This picture showed up on my facebook wall this morning and I thought it incredibly appropriate for the day. You see, friends, my life seems to be about leaping. God stretches my ability to fathom the scary dark that is just around that unturned corner, that seemingly bottomless edge over nothingness and those times in life that deviate from the safe little path I invent in my own imagination.
I’ve joked often enough that I’ve been tossed in the deep end so much of my life, I’d probably drown in shallow water.
Five months ago, I turned the lights out on a job I consider the highlight of my career. It was time to change something. I didn’t know exactly what was causing all the tears, the migraines and the heartache. Changing my work email seemed to be the simplest solution to figuring out this problem. How could I have a job I loved and a family I live for and yet be at constant war with myself over which hat I was wearing at any given moment of the day?
My mother has compared me to a race car. I can go the speed limit and drive around normally with the rest of the cars, but I was really MADE to race. The high octane fuel that powers me demands I be unleashed and allowed to go as fast as I can. To the normal person, I must seem insane to make such demands on myself; to keep the pace I do. But, to me, it just seems like life. Yes, even the best race car driver is going to blow a tire and hit the wall. But that doesn’t mean the race is over. It means the car is out for a while. But the best drivers come back to race on.
So, where does this leave me? I have a job I really like, with people I really have come to love. I’ve figured out (mostly) how to balance work, mommyhood and coach’s wife. So…wanna race?