The tree is up. The elves have arrived and move around every night, playing hide and seek with the children. I have this amazingly soft buffalo-print raglan that I wear as much as I think I can get away with that says, “Merry & Bright.”
And yet. I don’t really feel merry and bright.
I LOVE Christmas. It’s – hands down – my FAVORITE time of year. I love making cookies, and wrapping presents; coming up with fun, thoughtful gifts for my family and friends. I love candlelight church services, and the music. Absolutely my favorite part of Christmas is the music.
What is wrong with me?
Maybe it’s the pace we’ve kept this fall finally catching up to me.
Maybe it’s the negativity that seems to pollute my social media channels.
Maybe it’s too many nickles and dimes and not dollars in the bank when I, once again, under-estimate how expensive “doing life” is.
Whatever it is, I don’t feel like Christmas shopping.
Don’t feel like listening to Christmas music.
Don’t feel like making Christmas crafts.
Don’t feel like doing anything but laying down.
Maybe, like Cindy Lou, I myself am having doubts about the meaning of Christmas. Maybe, like the Grinch, I realize that it’s not the cookies, or presents, or lights, or even the music that makes Christmas special.
Maybe I’ve allowed being busy and doing things to smother the true joy of Christmas that only comes by stilling your heart, listening for the angels, and rejoicing at the humble birth of that little one who would change everything.
I will try and quiet my heart.
Still my thoughts.
Shut off my phone.
Come they told me
A new born king to see
Where are your pants? 