In the Dr. Seuss story, the Grinch is cast as the villain. When we dig into his past, though (as afforded by later versions of the story), we see a pattern of behavior that hardened his heart until it was the tiny little thing introduced in all the versions.
If we’re being honest, 2020 has pretty much “grinched” me. No, I haven’t had it as hard as many and, for that, I am grateful. But I haven’t felt nearly as holly jolly as I usually do come the day after Thanksgiving. It wasn’t POOF insta-perfect decorations, the smell of baking cookies, and non-stop Christmas carols. In fact, day before yesterday was the first day I voluntarily listened to Christmas music.
I guess you can say I’m in a funk.
But this weekend, I broke down and went Christmas shopping. Well, picking out gifts for other people is one of my very favorite things. Before long, I was smiling and laughing (something in desperately short supply this year, it seems). I went home and started wrapping presents and, out of habit, let iTunes pick out a Christmas playlist.
At some point between Bing Crosby and Michael Bublé, the playlist threw me a curveball: Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is You. Y’all, I KNOW this is a super popular song, but I have hated it since it came out. I’m much more of a White Christmas kind of girl. But, this is 2020 and there are no more rules. So, I made myself listen to it. And it was exactly what my dried up little Grinch heart needed. Before the song hit the second refrain, I was tapping my foot and humming along.
Three days later, I’ve got it almost on repeat. I let the kids turn the tree lights to the multi-colors instead of the prettier white lights because it’s more fun. I had a cookie (or three) for breakfast. You might say my Grinch heart … well, you know how the story goes.
I’m still tired and SO over 2020, but at least Christmas seems to have been saved. If you’re like me, struggling to find a little holiday happiness, maybe this is the year to give yourself space to not be all the things to all the people. Maybe this is the year to sit down with whatever this year has thrown at you and recognize we’ve all been changed. And maybe in that, we can find some still small joy that makes it a little more bearable. *hugs*
Where are your pants? 
Happy tears
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